We arrived at Whistler, a little bit north of Vancouver, three weeks before we were due to fly home.

We had a lovely Airbnb overlooking this park and we rested and contemplated our next move. Susan wanted a photo in front of the Olympic rings because she thought she deserved a gold medal for putting up with me. Oh, she’s got such a sense of humour!
So what’s the best thing to do in these circumstances – when the big journey is done, when the goals have been achieved, when we’ve smashed our way through the Yukon and Alaska, when you’re now ready for some rest and relaxation?
Well, you go on a motorcycle holiday of course!
So we left Canada and headed back down to the USA and the Oregon coast.
Our first stop on the Oregon Pacific Byway was Astoria and that’s where Susan and I had serious problems with our relationship. I’m being very open and honest here.
Now, I know what you’re thinking – such an arduous journey over the last four months was bound to raise underlying tensions, bring frustrations to the fore and cause life defining relationship ruptions.
And who was the root cause of this trouble, you ask?
Well, it was Big Bad Dog Susan of course!
I know, I know, I see you rasing your eyebrows – you’re not bloody surprised!
So what happened? What happened? Tell us what the Big Bad Dog did to rupture your relationship?
Well this is not an easy story to tell and I choke up trying to write this! Please be patient with me whilst I explain (quiet sobbing).
It all started when we stayed at a most wonderful Airbnb hosted by Trish and Thaddeus. Delightful.
At the end of our stay, Thaddeus, a flight instructor, offered to take us up in his light aircraft over the Columbia River. Susan was excited to go up in the plane and her enthusiasm was palpable.
Note: if it’s not got two wheels I tend to be a bit more calm about transport options.

Just look at the Big Bad Dog grinning with Thaddeus before the flight.
So let me tell you, let me tell you this – when Thaddeus asked who was sitting in the front, Susan’s enthusiasm boiled over so much she shouted ‘ME!’
She even raised her hand! Hear that! Like at school – me, me, me! Bloody teacher’s pet!
I was lost for words. I was stung into inaction. I was overwhelmed with despair as I quietly, meekly, climbed into a half seat at the back that was only big enough for a small child!
Do you realise the implications? Has the story got meaning for you?
Yup, you’ve got it – I had become the bloody pillion passenger!!!!
After 12,000 miles of being in command, lion of the road, looking forward to the horizon and beyond, scanning for adventure and danger, with only the road ahead and Susan behind, here I was looking a this …

I’m sitting in the back with my knees around my ears like a big seething toad.
Then it got so much worse!
Yes, that’s Susan flying the bloody plane!
Sorry for swearing again but it was quite an emotional time for me in the pillion seat and Susan flying faster than a motorcycle.
Honestly, it was terrifying. If I had I known she was going to fly I would have worn my boom boom jacket and my lovely helmet!
Thaddeus even asked her if she would like to land! Well I nearly bailed out there and then! Thankfully, Susan passed back the controls and we had a safe landing.
After the flight, we had a couple of hundred miles on the bike down the Oregon coast. It was a very quiet journey with huffy hot pants back in front.
Susan is, of course, very empathetic. Well, that’s another way of saying she knows how to get me out of a huff – she bribes me with beer!
So for the next two weeks we toured Oregon and it’s countless local independent breweries. Yes I did say two weeks! This wasn’t a huff I was going to give up easy once I had worked out a way to milk it!
In Eugene, we hit the colourful hotspots.
I bought a ‘reasonably’ expensive 3 year old experimental American whiskey after the salesman gave me 15 free tasting shots of whiskey. Some were so strong that by the end I genuinely was having trouble speaking because my lips were numb.

Then we hit a backwater bar with a ‘cowboy’ teuchter band.

Now I appreciate it’s not the correct thing to say but there’s really no way to describe better – not one person in this photo is the ‘full shilling’!
Other patrons, outwith the photo, were too risky to photograph.
I highlight the lady on the left with the cat ears who winked at everyone, the guy in tie dye shirt in the centre who didn’t stop dancing even when the band had a break and the guy that confused me for a while – the black haired guy with the two tone jacket in the photo.
In Scotland we call would call him a ‘jakey’. Oh I know it is a ‘bad’ word to use but it’s an effective and efficient adjective in this instance.
He had his worldly possessions in bags at the side which meant he could do multiple clothing changes during each song.
Now I like to keep track of the zoomers when I’m in a zoomers situation. You can imagine my concern when my attention was distracted and the black haired guy dancing with a stick vanished and a baldy with a tie dye t shirt appeared. Suddenly I’m minus one zoomer and plus another zoomer.
To explain I was distracted by the red haired mother (dancing in the photo) giving her three year old daughter a lager ice cream float.
It was only later I noticed his switching clothes and wig trick. Yup his thick black hair is a wig. Tricky old zoomer.
The music was great. The people were colourful and a bit edgy but, as long as you didn’t stare too much, it was a great place. Kind of like a Weatherspoons in Glasgow where the standards have dropped even further. Yes I know, hard to believe, but there is such a place and that place was here!
Another day, in a town called Bend, Susan and I peaked. This town has the most (30) breweries per head of population in the USA.
We were only there a couple of day but managed 7 different breweries, including the simply magnificent Crux Fermentation Project. Please don’t make me drink beer in Scotland again!

Susan was a trooper. Brewery after brewery. We rebuilt our trust and talked beer and motorcycles. Nobody mentioned flying. Nobody!
Bend, in particular, was great as the weather was perfect. Honestly, being with Susan that couple of days was nearly as good as being out with the guys! Well done Susan!
We did go to the seaside. Susan likes the seaside. I knew if I kept milking it too much my fun would be curtailed and so we endured the seaside. And the best thing I can show you about the seaside is a photo of me.

Seriously, the Oregon coast was lovely and the the roads were motorcycle heaven. What a great motorcycle holiday.
We ended our holiday in Leavenworth. What an interesting town.
Established as a logging town with a freight railway but seriously declined when the railway rerouted in the 1930’s. There was almost nothing left, no lumber mills, no employment, no stores and next to no people.
Then someone had a bright idea – let’s have a Bavarian-Alpine theme town!
The idea came from a guy, who had a cafe in town, and who had served in Bavaria during World War 2. Since then tourism and employment have boomed.


It’s an extraordinary place.
There’s a city order that states all buildings have to have a Bavarian theme. The pubs have imported German beer and German food and even the McDonald’s looks like a chalet!
Tacky yes! Authentic definitely no! But it works in a cheesy sort or way and the tourists flock to it.
After Leavenworth, we crossed back into Canada and are now in Vancouver.
Today was a sad day. The bike has been handed over to the cargo courier.

So let’s finish with some stats for the stats people.
You people who can’t deal with numbers, please just scroll back to the photo of me for a few seconds.
Miles done this trip: 12,606
Hotels, motels, Airbnb : 66
If we add South America:
Grand total North and South America miles: 22,925
Grand total hotels, motels, Airbnb: 125
Grand total border crossings: 26
(okay people who hate stats and have been staring at the photo of me instead can now return).
So, in North and South America we have nearly circumnavigated the world (earth’s circumference at the equator is 24,901 miles).
The co-pilot and I have obviously got some unfinished miles.
See you on the other side.
Arrivederci amigos.

























































